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As we think about healing, growing, and allowing our shame and guilt to be felt so it can dissipate, there is the consideration of why. Why heal? Why feel our uncomfortable, hard emotions? Why practice doing things differently? WHY? It is important to understand your why, your motivating factors, your goals and needs. If you have not read February's blog, you can find it here, where shame and guilt are discussed.
Your Why
As you read this or any blog or self help book, consider what draws you to it. What calls to you? Is it to sleep better, or feel happier, or not to be so judgmental of others? Maybe it's that you don't want to repeat things to and in front of your kids that your parents or grandparents did. Maybe it's to not argue with your significant other so much. Maybe it's to be a better person or to love yourself. Whatever the reason, it is important to know. Know what drives you, what motivates you, what is your connection to the change.
This is because change is hard. Not because you don't want it bad enough, but because your mind and body have practiced others ways of being, feeling, thinking and reacting over and over again. It takes intentional practice to do things a new way, so that the new practice is available at times of stress or when you forget to be intentional or deliberate. If you skip understanding and staying connected to your why, you go about life repeating patterns of thought and behavior you say you don't like, and afterwards your unhealed shame and guilt is triggered all over again. It is a never ending cycle, until you feel your WHY deeply and let that drive you in the direction of change. On some level, it really is that simple.
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